


Backbone

by intangible_rice



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Caroline Appreciation Day, Gen, don't mess with caroline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 15:27:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17831186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intangible_rice/pseuds/intangible_rice
Summary: Investigators come knocking on Aperture's door, but they find that the boss's secretary is more formidable than they'd bargained for. A short thing originally posted for Caroline Appreciation Day in 2014.





	Backbone

**Author's Note:**

> I fell off the "migrating old fics from my tumblr" bandwagon for a bit, but I definitely want to keep doing it, just in case the site does implode one day. This is a pretty inconsequential fic in my opinion, but I wanted to do something that portrayed Caroline as tough/conniving, since a lot of times it's assumed she only got that way after becoming GLaDOS.

Caroline straightened her posture as she heard footsteps approaching the office. She’d promised to buy her boss some time while he frantically tried to get rid of as many records of Aperture’s not-so-legal practices as he could, and she intended to do just that.

Her gaze hardened as two federal agents predictably failed to knock before walking in. “Can I help you?” she asked stiffly.

“Ma’am, we’re with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.” Caroline restrained herself from rolling her eyes at the proud flourish the two men put into displaying their badges. “We’re going to need to speak to the CEO.”

“I’m sorry,” Caroline answered. “Mr. Johnson is out of his office at the moment.” She prayed that through the closed door behind her, Cave would have the common sense not to swear or make any noise for a few minutes.

The taller agent smiled at her. “Well, that’s alright. We can wait.” He sat down, and motioned for his colleague to pull up a chair as well. He leaned forward and offered Caroline a cigarette, to which she shook her head. Undeterred, the agent continued to grin at her, as if expecting to work a kind of magic. “Now tell me, sweetheart,” he asked gently, “what kind of projects has Mr. Johnson mentioned working on lately?”

Caroline held her icy stare on the cocky fed. “All of Aperture’s projects are classified,” she replied simply.

The agents smiled at her. “I don’t know if you saw the badges before, ma’am, but it’s probably a good idea to tell us what you know,” the second man informed her. “With all of the different claims we’ve heard against this company, you wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of the courtroom when it comes to it.”

“And I wouldn’t want to be a federal agent violating a citizen’s rights by trying to extort information without a warrant,” Caroline shot back.

The agents began to shift uncomfortably in their chairs. It was obvious that they hadn’t expected to meet such a stumbling block in the form of a mere secretary. “Ma’am, listen…”

“Do you love your country?” Caroline interrupted the first agent.

He stammered for a second, taken aback by the question. “Of course I do,” he answered.

“Then explain to me why you’re trying to jeopardize it,” Caroline demanded.

The agent furrowed his brow, now confused as well as annoyed. “Trying to what?”

“It’s common knowledge that Aperture and NASA have had a partnership for some time,” Caroline reminded. “In fact, the design of the Saturn V rocket wouldn’t have come together at all without the inclusion of a fuel system designed right here in this facility.”

The second agent cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“And NASA is getting closer and closer to putting the first man on the moon,” Caroline continued. “But if Aperture was to come under investigation, it would be impossible to continue our partnership with the boys down in Florida.” She leaned back in her chair, as if to suggest a powerlessness in the situation. “And unfortunately, that means NASA would have to go back to the drawing board on figuring out how to power those rockets. With a setback like that, we’d practically be handing the moon over to the Russians.”

“Well, I’m sure there’s something we could…” the second agent attempted.

“Now, I hate to sound like Senator McCarthy, but I’m almost starting to wonder if you two are working for the Soviets,” Caroline said, her voice tinged with fake concern.

“That’s ridiculous!” the first agent protested.

“Is it?” Caroline asked. “Perhaps I should call the local newspaper to ask their opinion.”

“That… that won’t be necessary,” the agent started, jumping up from his seat. “We were just going anyway.”

The second agent followed suit. The two of them looked at Caroline with a mix of annoyance and fear. “You have a good day, ma’am.”

“And you too, agents,” Caroline smiled widely.


End file.
